reminisce

It's kinda sad, I think, how I'm such a drifter in school (alongside Joey). There's no specific group of friends I stick to or am close enough to to hold parties with or jump around with and be retarded :( really miss that kind of hanging out with groups and I think I'm quite suay cuz the classmates I have in my classes are all really driven and hardworking and noone really bothers very much about socializing. Not that that's bad but I feel kinda envious when I see other classes being so high and happy and holding loads of parties together. :( why did I get placed in such an environment where it's so difficult to form cliques or bond with people? It's like the friends I make are just the people i would hang out with for that period or lesson and then we all just go home without talking / texting. It's a very hi bye and surface kind of relationship and recently after nearly 8 weeks of school it keeps biting me how friendless I am and how life is so damn different from my past old schools. Why!!!! Is it me??? Or is it just the nature of Uni and law school? You just end up sticking to a few people as friends...and I don't dare to initiate anything like organize outings that kinda thing because that's just weird and I'm not very close to anyone at all. Life is damn lonely and I only feel a bit more loved during classes when there's time to chat a bit. Or organize dress codes on Facebook. But beyond that there's no friendship or true closeness. I know I shouldn't be bothered cuz I already have Joey but I just miss that kind of fun I had in JC when there was a group of people to hang out w and go crazy with and have outings with.

Considering joining a CCA next sem if its not too busy. But the stress of this sem is also really getting to me and there's no other time to socialize and all my free time's dedicated to C. I hope next sem won't be as busy and I'll be better and be more independent and not sound so whiny and unloved. Even though it's sadly and pathetically true. I wish I had groups of friends to play with and go mad with. I think it's the seminar style environment that makes it very difficult to chat and make friends as well unless you thick skinned go and talk to people you're not close to (ESP guys) which I actually observe some people doing. I really miss my choir friends and my class clique and all the love and happiness and closeness we shared. I wish classes were easier to make friends with and that people would be more willing to go out. Maybe one day I'll just throw face and organize an outing cuz the girls seem pretty nice in my crim class and I wish we were all close and mad together.. But they've formed their own little cliques already, :/

Ps: I'm really glad I have Joey though, having Joey to count on is better than having a group of friends I can't count on :3