After a few days of living with Windows Messenger on my retarded laptop because I don't dare to install Windows Live Messenger on it for the fear of getting a virus again (this laptop SUCKS it's damn susceptible to viruses probably cuz it's free and like 5 or 6 years old or something), I finally realised that

yes, I can ACTUALLY CHANGE my display name. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH

I thought windows messenger was too backward for me to put my own display name so I've been talking to everyone with the name Deborah. =_= Okay yes it is my real name but urghhh it looks and sounds old and I remind myself of my GP teacher whom I don't exactly like very much, so... :/

I have been eating a massive amount of food lately.

Yesterday I didn't eat breakfast so I ate a really huge lunch at Pastamania. Combo A (soup, garlic bread) and baked rice, and then Si Min couldn't finish her pasta so I helped her eat quite a lot and dumped mountains of cheese on every spoonful of it too because it was somehow quite tasteless =X and then she couldn't finish her soup too (Clam Chowder that day, hehehe) so I drank it for her. Her soup looked quite untouched too =x It was nearly a full bowl. So I was terribly bloated and sleepy after that, but got excited and happy and secretively plotting at Vanessa's house while suddenly getting the hang of Monopoly Deal and winning my first game ever. HAHAHAHAHA. WHEEE

And then at night, I ate rice and eggs. Okay that wasn't very much but it filled up the plate and I did eat a frighteningly big lunch

Today I think I broke my record though. At 11 I ate Sausage Mcmuffin with egg, and then at 4, I ate a full plate of rice with EGGS (yeah it's like in my every meal I adore eggs hahahaha) and VEGETABLES (I don't know what type of veggies they were but there were actually edible so I was quite happy) and FISH!!!

And 3 hours after that, my nanny placed a box of KFC on my table. -_- I was still feeling quite full from lunch and tried to control myself, but 5 mins later I was opening the box and taking out the smallest piece of chicken just so I wouldn't feel that bad... and happily ate it.

But after finishing that I crept back over to the box and took out the huge thigh and um. Ate the whole thing too.

There's still one more thigh and mashed potato left over :( I WANT TO EAT IT BADLY but my stomach is begging to take a break so I'll probably finish it up at 9 or so.

I don't know why I feel so tempted to eat so much today. Maybe eating takes my mind off things and sometimes it makes me feel better :3 But urgh I get so sleepy after eating a lot.

Soon I am going to become a bumbling lump of fats. Soon. At the rate I'm going.. -_- But whatever lah only when I hit 43 kg or something will I start becoming weight-conscious. Now I'll just eat as much as I want. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

and no 43 kg is not very light for me because I'm hilariously short. So please don't think I'm anorexic. =x okay definitely not since I just listed out my diet for the past few days -_- I disgust myself sometimes. =/

Some songs have been sticking themselves in my head and they make me feel sad and happy at the same time. Such conflicting emotions nowadays. :( At least I am more inclined to do my pile of homework that has collected dust over the extremely unproductive week...

I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm tryin' to get back