Often it feels like I give too much, and receive too little in return.

Holding on to you is like a futile attempt to cup water in my hands, something I once thought possible, but

now it's plain crazy to seal all cracks made by my fingers

you have a mind of your own as you struggle to writhe out from the small space in my clasp

you trickle through the tiny grooves for freedom,

when you once voluntarily yearned to stay within my grasp

Disappointment wells unheeded and I litter it aimlessly around objects that were probably worth only money to you and nothing more.

I wait and hope but once again I think I have fallen too far

if I hold on, the water turns to acid, my fingers burn, and I corrode away

I can never, ever find the perfect balance to you and I

not in the past and not even now

Why am I so affected, when you are not?

I regret opening up completely to you, because that only gave you the most leeway to hurt-

You gave me hope,

but now I realise, it is all false.

I am lost and broken and I don't know what to do anymore.

I cannot solve this unless I open my palms and let you melt away, free

and then I have to learn while I fall even deeper

and learn while I try to pick myself up again.

You were once so amazingly supportive, you were once always there, you once threw everything aside to be beside me when I was alone

Even when I wasn't alone, you were there,

but now, when I truly am

(00:00:00)

Call ended