I behave like a completely different person sometimes.

Really need to learn how to control it; I don't want to stay that way...

I don't want to chase anyone away either.


But sometimes everything just gets so pent up
and when your heart feels like it's going to get ripped apart, it's not easy to behave sanely.

I'm really paranoid.

Really, extremely paranoid.

I don't want to live through the horror of waiting and wondering and wishing again

I want to know, all the time,
that you love me.

It's not possible though,

there's always that niggling, creeping doubt that crushes my heart
when things like these happen.

These things are so minor and low-scale, too

but I get so, so affected by them.


I don't want to chase anyone away

And I want to stop making snide, stupid comments
that aren't true,

I need to grow up and be more mature

or I'll ruin this.



I'm really glad that you're so patient and understanding and sensitive (most of the time,) I think anyone else in your position would have given me up already.

But maybe, that's how true love's supposed to work

I'm sorry,

remind me constantly to take a step back

because I definitely should for you.