I dreaded Friday at first.
I didn't want to have to pretend. I wished that I could have just stepped right out, and bluntly voiced how I felt. I wish I could have done that, a long time ago, but I didn't dare to. I didn't want to screw things up any further, since everything was already so delicate, so fragile, teetering on the edge. Cracked, barely balancing on the edge of reason.
One more prod, and it'd shatter.
So I had to, and I did. I've been pretending for a long time, anyway. But on Friday,
I'd been stretched to my limit. Everything was just so unreasonable and unfair.
The afternoon made me so much happier. I felt so grateful and relieved. So happy. Truly, inexplicably happy.
Free.
It seemed so wonderfully possible that everything would be all right, very, very soon.
(that day, we weren't lone, battered souls. )
It meant so much to me.
When I returned home, 11pm or so, I scrambled into bed along with my sister's laptop, and logged hastily into MSN. A few unfortunate people experienced my wrath. Imagine being spammed with huge chunks of texts, flooded MSN windows. But they didn't mind.
It hit me hard, yesterday, that there were people who were willing to listen, willing to hear me talk, willing to hear what I had to say.
I might have lost some things.. Things I cared a lot for, even though I rarely, almost never, got the same treatment in return. How I felt, what I had to say, was always overlooked. I used to feel so hurt; did this really prove how much I was worth, then? Someone who was always taken for granted? Only talked to when needed?
I might have lost some things, but through it, I've found so many more.
At around 1, I rolled over, and thought about the day. I shut my eyes, thinking, reminiscing. I knew everything would eventually be okay. And I knew eventually I would be okay, because there would always be all of them, who would stand alongside me, and pull through with me.
For once, in this entire week,
Friday was at peace.
the evil sharlyn bay was supposed to rid me of boredom today, but she abandoned me for piano. *cries*
I didn't want to have to pretend. I wished that I could have just stepped right out, and bluntly voiced how I felt. I wish I could have done that, a long time ago, but I didn't dare to. I didn't want to screw things up any further, since everything was already so delicate, so fragile, teetering on the edge. Cracked, barely balancing on the edge of reason.
One more prod, and it'd shatter.
So I had to, and I did. I've been pretending for a long time, anyway. But on Friday,
I'd been stretched to my limit. Everything was just so unreasonable and unfair.
The afternoon made me so much happier. I felt so grateful and relieved. So happy. Truly, inexplicably happy.
Free.
It seemed so wonderfully possible that everything would be all right, very, very soon.
(that day, we weren't lone, battered souls. )
It meant so much to me.
When I returned home, 11pm or so, I scrambled into bed along with my sister's laptop, and logged hastily into MSN. A few unfortunate people experienced my wrath. Imagine being spammed with huge chunks of texts, flooded MSN windows. But they didn't mind.
It hit me hard, yesterday, that there were people who were willing to listen, willing to hear me talk, willing to hear what I had to say.
I might have lost some things.. Things I cared a lot for, even though I rarely, almost never, got the same treatment in return. How I felt, what I had to say, was always overlooked. I used to feel so hurt; did this really prove how much I was worth, then? Someone who was always taken for granted? Only talked to when needed?
I might have lost some things, but through it, I've found so many more.
At around 1, I rolled over, and thought about the day. I shut my eyes, thinking, reminiscing. I knew everything would eventually be okay. And I knew eventually I would be okay, because there would always be all of them, who would stand alongside me, and pull through with me.
For once, in this entire week,
Friday was at peace.
the evil sharlyn bay was supposed to rid me of boredom today, but she abandoned me for piano. *cries*
posted by Debbie at
8:16 PM
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