Just when everything seemed to get better
I should have known that something, my most dreaded fear, may take form and come true,

and make everything crumble into bits








What am I supposed to do?

I really wanted to leave

but then why am I stuck again?????????

Please don't...
please don't imprison me again

I freaking don't want to choose a JC anymore.

I'm highly tempted to write SA or AJ for my first choice now

but I was so eager, initially...

I have 3 days, or less, to decide.

RJ seems more inviting now.



I am
torn between two poles
stretching across the globe of uncertainty
Do I follow,
or do I leave because-

i cannot forget?

i know you are more worth it,
but I don't want to feel
that horrid strangled feeling
of being unable to
free myself from the
smothering burn of façade

i don't want to be stifled again

God, please teach me to accept
after so long, I wanted to escape
but is it part of Your plan that I am still
stuck?

I need You, now...