Chinese O's was, thankfully, doable. I'm still rather worried a B3 isn't attainable because of my blasted, damned, screwed oral.

Ah... Oral...

I STILL REMEMBER my voice BREAKING at one word in the reading passage, and then sliding down smoothly to my normal voice. I still remember the examiners' heads jolting upwards, their amused gazes fixed on me. I still remember them smiling kindly as I forced out nonsensical, jumbled points and stumbled over nearly every word.

-cringes at the memory-

Sop1s had sectionals at my house yesterday. We were much better at my house than at choir today (WHY), and after mostly everyone left, Lunbei, Gilaine, Wuen Nee, Crystal and Yingtong lagged behind for a while, and we went quite crazy.

"Ni XIIIII~!" (You suck)

I embarrassed myself while waiting with them at the bus stop too, while yelling at Gilaine after she screeched at me. Some cyclist WAS RIDING PAST and he stared at me with his mouth HANGING OPEN.

:O <<< Like this.

Today... was a disaster (no further explanation)

I wonder how much more I can do, how much more I can improve,

and how long more will she stay?

(/edit: ohnoes the anime-watching/kingdom-hearts-playing/gay-ing at mellopoo's house has been cancelled. ;_;)
---

Sometimes I try so hard and yet everything seems to twist and writhe, snaking itself into its inexplicable, tangled mass of misunderstandings,

(late? not because of lunch; because of class.)

and it's so hard to feel sure of anything anymore.

I do put in effort, I do try, just not the way she wants it.

To hear my voice tearing across the silence of the room

(I do not know
how it will go
backfire
backfire, maybe)

But what more can I do to show her I'm trying so hard
that my head throbs so badly till
I feel like falling over



try.

(And that's the only word I can use now)