Appreciation

Something you really seem to be unable to fathom, with regard to my actions.

I feel horrible, unnecessary and utterly stupid. Maybe i shouldnt have weathered the blistering heat of the sun and let perspiration soak me from head to toe as I headed towards your house and away. You don't even seem to understand my gesture, only criticising it once you caught wind of it. I thought you would be touched but you reprimanded me instead. Not a whisper of thanks, or expression of gratitude. You have no idea how much it took me to do that, alone. It showed how much you meant to me. But you did not understand or appreciate my gesture at all.

So much for everything. I thought it would be a lovely surprise and you would be touched and thankful. Instead, the response was smarting, like how my eyes felt when I heard your words. "Why didnt you bake it? There is no point in giving it if you didn't bake it."

"It was really unnecessary."

"Don't waste your money."

"Don't go to such extremes."

I feel so hurt that my gestures were regarded as unnecessary. I thought it was the thought that counted. Through those comments, of course you sounded dissatisfied, disapproving and unhappy. Even though you claimed you werent unhappy, your words and tone before that claim spoke volumes about what you truly felt.

And the truth is that I had done all that for naught, made out to be an idiotic nutcase who apparently spends money for no reason, does unnecessary things, and has no clue how to bake her own cake, which supposedly ruined the meaning of it all.

Thanks for making me feel like a really stupid person. You have such power to twist my feelings and make me feel like shit. I wish I had heard more appreciative words, like thank you omg why did you do that, it's so sweet, or at least a thank you. Sadly I heard no such words, and at that I am really really hurt and disappointed that my gesture, which I mustered up so much courage and planned for so long (keeping it a secret) received no such response.

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