I am trying

So I don't think it is my fault or problem that I feel this way anymore..
Is there something so wrong with me, that it is so easy to forget about my presence?
I am so tired of initiating and staring blankly at the lack of conversation.
I don't think I will try anymore, because a one sided effort is getting me nowhere
It's wearing me out, and I'm starting to wonder, what have I done wrong? Why are things so different?

but I thought about it, and

there are others who really care for me, who I should shift the weight of importance to instead