I have no inspiration and mood to do my English project at all. And it's freaking graded. HA HA HA HA HA.

Bonus; it's DUE TOMORROW! HO HO HO!

Today was an emo day. I felt strangely empty and irritated and everything bad, bad, BAD. I mean, nothing bad even happened to me today. I was wondering what's my problem, but maybe because I was mood-swinging. Yes, I won't need to worry about camp *laughs at Sharlyn evilly*

SHARLYN, YOURS MUST HURRY COME HURRY COME

You know, I love my friends to bitty bitty bits. They make me forget everything painful and hurting. They make me forget everything bad. With them, I feel so happy and carefree, as if it never happened. As if I'd never fallen out of love.

One day, when I'm much older, when the pain is gone, and when I completely forget, I might explain everything. Scratch that, I WILL explain everything. WITH ALL THE JUICY DETAILS OF MY LIFE HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO *snorts*. On my blog. On THIS blog. (: And my archives will be so long, it'll reach the bottom of the page.

So just let your minds wander aimlessly for now, until the time is right. HAAAAAAHAHAHA I sound so corny. I WILL reveal everything that happened when I was an itty bitty teenager, lost in this big, big world.

I'm still lost in the world, so yeah, too bad.

I realised how difficult it is to forget something that had been so close. It's never-ending pain, nibbling perpetually at the frayed edges of your supposedly existent heart.

BLEAH, I did think I forgot. I did think everything was alright. SIGH. HOHO, let me write something random.
all the beautiful things I've lost?
I'm spinning that ball now. It keeps falling off. It's not staying on my finger, I can't get it to balance. Why can't it balance? I think I'm not in control now; wait, I was NEVER in control. How could I delude myself that everything might return to normal? I can never win. I can never have things go my own way. I'm in the game, but I'm being pushed and shoved around, people towering over me, the ball slipping from my fingers as tears brim up in my eyes. I'm in the game, invisible, unnoticeable, unable to do anything.

What's happening in the front? Everyone's too tall, everyone's blocking me. Did I hear raucous cheers erupting from the stand? Who scored? What's happening?

Do I hear someone groaning in pain? I don't have a single idea of what's going on. Why can't I know what's going on?

I clutch at the ball desperately. Tears flick free from my eyes, suspended momentarily in the air like shattered crystals. Catching the light and glimmering for a fraction of a second, they fall, small splotches of wetness suddenly appearing on the polished floor.

Arms flailing, I crash to the ground as the ball bounces slowly away.